Uncovering the Real You...Its always been there.

What if you were to step out of your comfort zone? Step into a place where you may feel uncertain, a bit uncomfortable or even perhaps… panicky. What if you were to realize that is the true you. Your true essential self inside you, born to you, the you that you really are, but may be cautious to listen to and act on. You could do more and feel happier, be more confident, or even become successful, if you listened to it, and its been right there with you all the time. Throw out other people’s opinions, ignore your social self the self that tries to fit in. The part of you that tries to do what others think you should do or what you think you should do. The part of you… that is afraid to fail and perhaps be looked upon in a negative way.
Remember for a minute, back to when you are around 3-5 years old. Small children usually live through their Essential Self because they are true to themselves. They are usually carefree, and do as they please. They choose things they like or want and don’t consider that it may be looked upon as not the norm. Small children may be considered selfish, spoiled, rotten, or rude by many. But actually they are putting themselves first; looking out for their best interests, honest with their feelings, and usually know what it is that they want. They begin this around 2, which is often called ‘The Terrible Twos’. I call it The Terrific Twos. I love when children are beginning to find themselves and are becoming a bit independent and love making their own choices. Sure, their clothes choices are a bit odd with mixed designs and mismatching colors. But this is what they like. Usually when we do what we like, we are happy. Sure, at this young age we need to guide these little ones and help them to be safe and respectful, responsible and kind to others. But, what usually begins to happen is parents want their children to ‘fit in’. Be like everyone else. “Susie likes her red shirt and blue jeans. Your stripped shirt and checkered skirt look strange and don’t match.’ Or ‘you should pretend you’re a doctor….not a trash man or construction worker. They don’t make a lot of money and are always dirty.’ At 4 years old. Too funny. Then little Scotty always pretends he’s a doctor, grows up and becomes a doctor and always wishes he were a trash man or construction worker.
Being a child is so carefree. We were so happy just being us. Then it hits us, we need to conform to what others think we should be or do or look like. Then, we aren’t so carefree any more. That is when we begin living through our social selves and not living the life we were meant to live. We wake up to a life that is not truly what we want or perhaps a job we hate, or activities we don’t enjoy, people we are stuck with just because, and realize that this isn’t what our heart desires.
Get down to the basics. Dig deep into who you are and try to listen, try to feel, and try to remember who you really are. Here is a mediation exercise to try. Take some time, maybe 10 minutes a day and get to a peaceful place inside of you. Imagine and discover your desires, dreams, and unfulfilled hopes. Imagine yourself in a life that feels real to you. Use your senses and grasp every dimension of this experience. Discover what it is that you had always felt would be right in your life, yet you haven’t accomplished or experienced to this point. Feel how relaxed you become when you’re imagining/dreaming what your purpose, likes, hopes, and ambitions really are. You are feeling what your life could be like if you listened to your wants and desires. You will probably feel relaxed and happy each time you bring yourself back to this “happy spot’. You may choose to write your thoughts and dreams down and see how you uncover your information and where it may lead you. Try this exercise for a month at least 10 minutes a day. Find your essential self…it’s there, it always has been. See where this meditation exercise takes you. I promise if you live for your essential self, you will be truly happy with your life. Of course our social self will still have a place in us. But if we can find a place in which they meet and agree to something, we can truly find happiness with in and that is the ultimate goal.
Please answer these questions and reflect on each one. Be honest with yourself, because you are the only one grading this. Take some time if needed or perhaps print this and write out the answers. Retake it again in a month after doing the exercises. Enjoy and remember… we only live this life Once!

1. As a child, I always dreamt of becoming a _______________.
2. I’m my happiest when I get to_________________________.
3. If money wasn’t a road block, I would___________________.
4. If I could have a ‘do over’ I would change_________________.
5. My strengths are____________________________________.
6. I wish I had the guts to_______________________________.
7. If you had 1 year left to live, what changes in your life would you make?

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