It’s so funny to me when I hear kids asking their mom for something and the moms instantly reply…without a thought put into it is…’No’. It’s funny to me just because I know what that No really is. Its…’Well I should say no, or don’t bother me now, or I should teach him/her something right now.’ But after a few minutes of whining, begging or crying, guess what? The answer suddenly is a ‘Yes. Sure. Go ahead and have 3 more cookies before dinner. Of course you can have your 12th pair of pink flip flops. Why not get another set of Legos…you only have 10,000 pieces.’ The easiest way to stop a whining child from hitting that 1 nerve that sends shivers up and down our backs, is to just give in and say ‘Yes’.
Kids are pretty smart. They catch on very quickly to how we handle situations and how they can manipulate us. Without a degree in such subjects, they know how to control us and get whatever it is they want….so they think. Until we catch on. Until we get smarter than them and face facts that we are setting our kids up for a big disappointment. When they don’t get the job at the ice cream shop with their friends, when they don’t get into the college they want. Or when that cool new car is out of their budget and the auto dealer doesn’t give it to them because they have a BooBoo lip and sweet face that we always fall for.
Life is about learning and growing, even at a young age. Learning to be patient, learning that sometimes things don’t go our way and how to pick ourselves up and move on. If children don’t learn that young, we as parents aren’t giving them the full ability to become well rounded people. Life has disappointments. But it’s how we handle them that help us make life happier and easier to live in with certain situations.
I personally want to be the person to teach my children disappointment and satisfaction. The reason behind that is when I disappoint my child, I know I will be there to help them through it and grow. Pick up the pieces and show them there are always choices and reasons behind any decision. ‘Mom, can I have my 2nd cupcake?’...’.No, two is definitely too much and dinner is in an hour. I made your favorite, tacos. And if you fill up on another cupcake, you won’t enjoy your yummy tacos’. Wow! Simple, to the point, no whining,
respect earned, and a lesson learned. No, I’m not a mean mom. My kids always know why I make decisions and after a short time, they actually know the answers before they ask, and I promise, they don’t even ask any more. They learn to make the correct choices for themselves.
The economy is difficult now. Many families are faced with not having the job we want, the new furniture we’ve been dreaming about, or the yearly vacation. We can be good role models and make this a positive learning experience. When they hear adults whine about things that we didn’t get, they think that’s how they should react to disappointments. But if we find a positive in something or maybe an alternative approach, they will become accustom to finding solutions and understanding in life’s ups and downs. Going to work each morning in a lower paying job but holding your head up high and doing a great job at it, is a great example. Planning a fun staycation experience and saving money while still making the fun family memories. Working together and repainting a bike and adding small touches to it instead of buying a new one. So, the next time little Suzie is whining for something, listen to how you answer her and how she reacts. Then, rethink another way to handle it and try that and see which way gets a better response as well as becomes a learning experience. In the end, we are their mentors, teachers, cheer leaders and role models. We need to guide them to a bright, happy, and realistic future.
