Excuses Excuses ....Lets just own up.
When I think about all the excuses people give to defend their (misbehaving) children, I find it to be somewhat amusing as well as concerning. Most parents hope to raise sweet, happy, honest, and well behaved little people. But, something can happen a long the way. We see these little angels who we adore and spoil, and look away when they are naughty and undirected. We forget that these innocent little beings came to us with a blank canvas. We are here to add color, excitement, knowledge, and most of all guide these little people in the correct direction. Yes, playing, reading, and enjoying them is the easy part. But, disciplining a child is a place that parents can get confused about. "do I spank?? No!' "Do I yell? No" Those were techniques used long ago that many consider inappropriate now a days. "I'm a COOL parent. Ill be her friend. She will be happy and my job will be easy" Wrong with a capital W. Friends are people we are parallel with. Children need to understand there's a difference between friendly fun between mom and her little buddy and a equal friendship relationship. When the respect isn't there for the parent, that is when issues begin. Gain respect, gain control, and the understanding will be there. It is our responsibility to show them and to influence our children to be a happy addition around others instead of a unwanted visitor.
So, excuses excuses. What do I mean by that. Well, when a child is being naughty, most parents won't admit that their child is a handful. The easy thing to do is make excuses. I've heard them all and don't believe any of them. From children in grocery stores throwing food out of the cart and the flustered mom doing the cover up and saying "she had a bad day at preschool", to spitting children at the park that "missed his nap". Screaming kids or children that won't share, its funny its all blamed on a missing nap, bad nights sleep, hungry, teething, or 'probably coming down with something-Again'. We all make excuses when the problem that is happening is embarrassing and we can't control the situation, so instead of looking like we are loosing a battle with a 3 year old...just make up a common phrase, and everyone looks compassionate toward you, But we all know its an excuse. Plain and simple. Truly, does anyone buy it? No! It's the code word excuses that clue us in. I think you will get more compassion from the other people if you 1. try to resolve the problem at the moment. 2. prepare your child before a possible situation may begin. ( before entering a store or restaurant.) 3. remove child from situations, as to not annoy others, 4. if all else fails, just admit your child has a hard time sitting for long periods of time, doesn't share well yet, or has a short fuse and is grumpy. Most people will respond to honesty much better than the made up excuses. And who know, maybe facing the reality of being embarrassed will in turn help the children and parents deal with the underling discipline problems head on.
